Wednesday, August 05, 2009

...In My Pants

The other day I was scouring the internet for a copy of "Lapti Nek," a quest that went nowhere, as far as an MP3 was concerned. All for the best, probably.

Somewhere along the way I became sidetracked reading about Max Rebo (left) and his band, who appeared briefly in Return of the Jedi. That was early in the movie, before the teddy bears showed up and shat on everything.

While meandering my way through Wookiepedia (the Star Wars wiki!), I found out there was something in the Star Wars universe called jizz.

Hey, hold on. Just bear with me here a moment. It's not what you think.

Jizz is described as "an upbeat, swinging genre of music, most notably performed by the Modal Nodes [the band from the first movie] and Max Rebo Band."

Also: "Jizz-wail was an early form of jizz that was much softer than its later, more popular incarnation." An early form of jizz? Okay. And just so you know, jizz-wail is performed by jizz-wailers, "musicians who specialized in playing jizz songs."

In the Star Wars lexicon there is also something called a jizz-box, described only as "an instrument commonly used in jizz songs." Attempts to google an image of said device proved, ummm, fruitless.

Did no one, at any point in time, think to tell George Lucas that there as another, very common definition of jizz?


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