Thursday, April 30, 2009

Still Pissed at Perez Hilton...

...Miss California to campaign against gay marriage.
Carrie Prejean told NBC's "Today" show Thursday that she'll be working with the National Organization for Marriage to "protect traditional marriages."

The 21-year-old says that marriage is "something that is very dear to my heart" and she's in Washington to help save it.
I'm amused by the idea that marriage is "very dear to [her] heart" (like orphaned puppies or her Grandma Mima) and that "traditional marriage" needs saving, not from divorce, or abuse, or philandering, but from queers seeking just a sliver of equality.

Go, Miss California, fight the good fight in the name of bigotry and intolerance! I'm sure you'll make your home state proud.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Won't Someone Please Think of the Grandmas?!

Liberty Counsel, a group comprised entirely of talking points (Restoring the Culture One Case at a Time by Advancing Religious Freedom, the Sanctity of Human Life and the Traditional Family), much to no one's surprise unleashes a press release decrying "so-called 'hate crimes' legislation," which also much to no one's surprise is full of lies, deceit and hate-mongering. Beside the usual anti-gay bigotry, what is the Counsel (ha! clever they) up in arms about? This bill includes no protection for veterans or the elderly! Seriously.

Last I checked, veterans and the elderly weren't groups commonly victims of hate crimes.

But what really gets their ire is that the law is just a way to protect pedophiles (emphasis mine):
H.R. 1913 (Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009) is not about stopping crime but is designed to give "actual or perceived" sexual preference or "gender identity" (which is still classified as a mental disorder) the same legal status as race. The DSM IVR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual used by psychologists and psychiatrists to diagnose mental disorders) lists more than 30 "sexual orientations" and "Gender Identity Disorders," including pedophilia. The hate crimes bill does not limit "sexual orientation" or "gender identity" and, thus, includes all these disorders and fetishes. The use of "actual or perceived" includes those with disorders or deviant sexual preferences and those who do not have such disorders or fetishes, so long as it is alleged that the person charged allegedly "thought" the other person had such disorder or fetish.
Which is, of course, bullshit.

I'm gonna tell you something I hardly tell anyone, but since we're friends, and no one really reads this blog, I figure it's no big deal: I keep a copy of the DSM IV under my bed. I like a little light reading before I wander off to dreamland. Plus I'm trying to memorize all the codes because A) it's central to the plot of my as-yet-completed novel and B) I believe it will someday come in handy should I appear on Win Ben Stein's Money. Anyway, my point being is that pedophilia is not listed as a sexual orientation or a gender identity in the DSM IV. In fact, the DSM IV doesn't include a list of sexual orientations at all.

The closest this comes to truth is that the DSM IV contains a section titled Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders. This is broken down into two smaller groups, the paraphilias (wherein pedophilia resides) and the separate gender identity disorders (which would, presumably, be covered under the proposed statute) and are really only still considered mental health disorders so that trans people with insurance can get their treatment covered. It's only by applying a judicious dollop of mendacity that one can contend that the new Hate Crimes Prevention Act is a way for the government to protect "pedophilia and every imaginable deviant fetish" and promote "coercive pro-homosexual propaganda". (For those who don't keep their own copy, you can peek at relevant section of the DSM IV here.)

All of which is to say the Liberty Counsel are a bunch of lying, deceitful shitstains. A bunch of lying, deceitful shitstains using fear and bigotry to attack a group of people who desperately need protection. To wit:
Sexual orientation and gender identity include pedophilia and every imaginable deviant fetish. Cross-dressers and pedophiles find refuge in this so-called hate crimes bill, while veterans and grandmas are left to fend for themselves.
If there is an ounce of truth anywhere in that statement I'll not only eat my hat, but I'll show up for communion on Sunday and eat that too.
Obviously, this bill is not about the prevention of crime but is all about pushing a radical sexual anarchy. This bill will crush free speech and trample free exercise of religion.
As for radical sexual anarchy? We should all be so lucky.

Random That Mitchell and Webb Look Clip

Small Talk


Wednesday Non-Cat Blogging

In honor of the men who are sick of all the cats around here, I've snapped a few photos of my exceedingly non-feline piscatorial friends:

Reg peeks out from behind some plantlife. Tetra5 and Tetra-Four swim by.

RedTetra1 and 3Tetra as seen through the belly of the Buddha.

The red-tailed shark, who has yet to divulge its name, runs for cover. (Update: Otto attaches himself to leaf, far right. Sneaky devil!)

Ron, my other Bala shark, gazes at his reflection. Tetra-Four (again) and Tetra2 are a blur of speedy tetraness.


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Swine Mexican Flu!

The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed "Mexican" influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, according to an Israeli health official.

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and "we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu," he told a news conference Monday at a hospital in central Israel.
As a member of a predominantly Hispanic family, allow me to go on record here by saying we, as a group (that is, Mexicans, not just my relatives) have enough problems without being branded as carriers of disease and source of a global pandemic. Just sayin'.

So, with all due respect, Mr. Litzman, please shut the fuck up.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Bea in Space

R.I.P. Bea Arthur

From The Star Wars Holiday Special


Friday, April 24, 2009

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


"A Man & His Truck: It's a beautiful thing." No. No, it isn't! Just shut the fuck up with your meaningless, stupid, dunderheaded slogans!



You know what I love about this story? The way they've had to Photoshop Larry David's head into the accompanying image.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Radio Shakesville

The latest edition of the Radio Shakesville podcast in now available. It can be downloaded here or here. We're also listed on iTunes.

This episode begins our series on women in music, and features some really great songs. Plus Liss and I chat again. Not to spoil anything, but our conversation goes a little something like this:

Liss: Something brilliant.

Me: Uh huh.

Liss: Something brilliant.

Me: Yeah.

Liss: Something brilliant.

Me: Good point.

Liss: Something brilliant.

Me: Uh huh.

As ever, I prove exactly how dumb I am. Enjoy! Also, I am still taking requests at (641) 715-3900, extension: 44515. Thanks to everyone who picked up the phone for this show. I hope you like what you hear.

(Note, I was losing my voice as I recorded this, so if I sound like an asshole, that's why.

Also note, a list of songs used in this show is here, should you be interested in hunting them down for purchase.)


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

President To 'Shut Down' Internet

But only in an emergency.

WTF? Is that even possible? I mean, can you shut down the internet? Is there a master switch somewhere that I'm not aware of? And has this dude not seen The Terminator? Try to shut it down and it'll nuke us back to the stone age.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Phil Spector: Guilty

This just in: Phil Spector found guilty of second-degree murder in the shooting death of Lana Clarkson at his mansion six years ago.

Second-degree murder carries a penalty of 15 years to life in prison.


Today in WTF?

This poll, over at HuffPo.

What do you think about the "date rape" scene in Observe and Report?

  • 30.47%: Totally unacceptable. It's sick and wrong.

  • 21.49%: Sure, it's Rogen's movie, he can do whatever he wants, but can't we just avoid jokes about RAPE?

  • 10.38%: I thought it was funny (though I feel a little guilty about it).

  • 37.67%: It's a JOKE people. Get upset about more important things.
  • Hey, Daily Mail

    Quit stealing my posts.



    Oh Yoko

    I'm listening to my iPod and "Oh Yoko" by John Lennon comes on and it gets me thinking. You know what I hate? That tired fucking meme about how Yoko broke up the Beatles.


    Thursday, April 09, 2009

    Kali on Capote

    Kali on Capote: "He's an asshole."

    Juni on the table (where she doesn't belong): "Rowr!"

    Wednesday, April 08, 2009

    For Liss

    Neil Finn and Johnny Marr: "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"

    Saturday, April 04, 2009

    Shootings in Pittsburgh

    More tragic news.

    A gunman wearing a bulletproof vest and "lying in wait" opened fire on officers responding to a domestic disturbance call Saturday, killing three of them and turning a quiet Pittsburgh street into a battlefield, police said.
    If you recall, just yesterday we were told that "gun control laws kill innocent people." Except they don't. In this case said laws would have presumably kept an assault rifle out of the hands of a very dangerous person. Note as well that the three who died were not only armed, but highly trained in the use of firearms.

    Police Chief Nate Harper said the motive for the shooting isn't clear, but friends said the gunman recently had been upset about losing his job and feared the Obama administration was poised to ban guns.
    I don't even know what to say anymore.

    Friday, April 03, 2009

    Victory in Iowa

    The Iowa Supreme Court issued a unanimous ruling Friday finding that the state's same-sex marriage ban violates the constitutional rights of gay and lesbian couples, making Iowa the third state where marriage will be legal.
    Awesome. Totally awesome. I am so fucking happy I may actually cry. This isn't New York, or Massachusetts, but Iowa, the Mid-fucking-west we're talking about. It's an important victory.

    Today in Inappropriate

    Seen in Oklahoma City, "the buckle of the Bible Belt". Funny and wrong. I love it.

    (Thanks to Molliecat for sharing.)


    Thursday, April 02, 2009

    R.I.P. Andy Hallett

    Andy Hallett, the actor probably best known for playing demonic lounge singer Lorne on Angel, died earlier this week of heart disease. He was 33. Lorne was always one of my favorite characters on the show. He'll be missed.


    From Ted Nugent With Love

    In which I substitute an email conversation between myself and Liss for an actual post...

    Liss: Speaking of horse's asses, you know you want to do a post about this.

    Deeks: What the fuck??

    Liss: Right? I mean, seriously.

    Deeks: Whatever, he wants to do a hunting show, that's cool. I personally don't get the whole appeal of hunting, but hey, wevs, different strokes and all that. But what the fuck is with him and his son chasing contestants through the woods? Jebus! I think he's read "The Most Dangerous Game" one too many times.

    Liss: I know! It's literally a show about Ted Nugent stalking people! Hello! And, if he teaches them "survival skills," but then catches them, he's a terrible teacher. But if he doesn't catch them, it's a terrible show. Great concept, bozos.

    Deeks: So true. Your analysis vaguely reminds me of that show with Bobby Flay where he goes around to small towns and has little cook-offs with local chefs. But he loses every time. I read somewhere that the whole reason show was created was to make a very unlikeable man more likeable by having him humiliated every week by regular folk.

    Liss: That is the same reason "News from Shakes Manor" was created, in which, you'll note, Iain always gets the best of me.

    Deeks: Well, if you ever run out of idea for that series, I can start a new one called "You're An Asshole." Every post will just be the title and a photo of you.


    Wednesday, April 01, 2009

    Absurdist Snuggie News

    First of all, what's up with this new Snuggie-type thing? It's sort of like a sweater vest for two, but with a little "porthole," if you will, just the size of an infant's face, allowing said infant to ... uhhh ... peek out. The effect is, unfortunately, more reminiscent of Kuato of Total Recall fame (see below) rather than something cutesy-utesy. I don't have anything to say other than "Jebus, that's creepy!" which I am guessing is so not the manufacturer's aim.

    And then there's this article, wherein some Libertarian douche has been photographing various right-wing "celebrities" (like Joe the Plumber and Tucker Carlson (aren't both their fifteen minutes up yet?)) in a gently used Snuggie to dispel the myth "that conservatives and libertarians have no sense of humor." That anyone gives two fucks about Joe the Plumber and Tucker Carlson proves that your whole world view is a joke. Ergo...

    Anyway, I did some research. I could find no evidence that Joe the Plumber is married. So I have to ask: Why does Joe the Plumber hate babies?