Friday, January 30, 2009

On Hell's Kitchen

Does anyone here watch Hell's Kitchen, Fox's garish, ugly take on Top Chef? Season Five premiered last night and we were introduced to the Tool Academics that are this year's contestants. It's your typical crew of self-important, deluded gourmet wanna-bes and as per usual there are at least a couple (or three, or four, or twelve) misogynists in the bunch. And right off the bat we're introduced to a real winner. Giovanni, an executive chef from Florida, in his little get-to-know-me moment confesses he has quite the way with the ladies:
When I first started cooking, it was an easy way to get a girl to my house. Instead of taking 'em out to dinner, I could get 'em home—food is an aphrodisiac, then you pour a little wine onto that, and then you go on to the next [pause; smarmy grin] level.
And there it is, about five minutes into the episode, and we've a man practically admitting he rapes women, and it is presented unquestioningly, unblinkingly, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. It should be shocking and surprising to me, to everyone really, but it isn't. Rape culture: you're cooking in it.


Today In Vile, Offensive and Stupid

Why, yes, that is a shifty-eyed President Obama, sending a (white) woman, against her will, to a "Mengele-esque" abortionist (who's covered in blood, don't you know, and standing next to a cash register). Note the newspaper with the headline "Gitmo To Close" as the obviously distraught woman fetus** asks, silently, "Couldn't you just waterboard me instead?"

How in the fuck does one's world view become so distorted, so detached from reality, that this is how they see Obama's election to office? Forced abortions in pursuit of cash while terrorists are allowed to run free? Really?

For fuck's sake.

(Via Lawyers, Guns and Money.)

** Updated to add: As pointed out, the fetus is the one asking to be waterboarded, not the woman. She, as per usual, "has absolutely no voice at all," to quote commenter GypsyLee. And since several of you have asked, the above is by cartoonist Glenn McCoy of the Universal Press Syndicate.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Bill Kristol Is Not F@#king Matt Damon (But He Wants To Be)

After being called "an idiot" by Matt Damon, conservative warmonger Bill Kristol has agreed to debate the actor on said subject. Conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart has even offered up $100k to the charity of Damon's choice should he agree to participate. I assume Breitbart is looking to humiliate Damon: If Damon doesn't accept the offer, he's denying some worthy cause a big fat check. And if he does accept, then Breitbart presumes Kristol will debate circles around the actor. Breitbart of course forgets that Kristol has been wrong about... well... everything he's ever said.

Personally, I think Damon should take the offer, force Breitbart to donate the $100k to the ACLU or the Matthew Shepard Foundation or someplace, and give Kristol the spanking he so rightly deserves.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Today In "Clever"

Just FYI: I drive past this thing every day on my way home from work.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Hey Your Racist

According to Rush Limbaugh you are a racist if:

1) You're a member of the news media.

2) You voted for Obama.

3) You support Obama in any way, shape, or form.

4) If you watched any of the inauguration coverage this week.

Why, you ask? Because Obama's father was black. "Because his father was black, because this is the first black president." Well, just allow me to post the whole quote:
You know racism in this country is the exclusive province of the left. We're witnessing racism all this week that led up to the inauguration. We're being told that we have to hope he succeeds. That we have to bend over, grab the ankles, bend forward, backward, whichever. Because his father was black, because this is the first black president. We've got to accept this. The racism that everybody thinks exists on our side of the aisle has been on full display throughout their primary campaign.
Okay. I am going to admit that I really don't understand Limbaugh's point. Is he saying that is you're a fan of President Obama you must hate white people? (And would the inverse there be that if you liked Bush you must therefore hate people of color?) I don't know. Maybe he's saying racism is no big deal. All except that directed at white people like Limbaugh or his cohort Hannity. Because airing inauguration coverage of America's first African American president is racist against white people. Or something. Fuck, I don't know.

What I do know is that Rush Limbaugh "needs to sit down and drink a big ol' cuppa Hush Up Now."

Thursday, January 22, 2009


President Barack Obama has frozen the salaries of all White House staff making $100K or more a year. As he said, we "deserve a government that truly is of, and by, the American people."

Cool. I get that this is largely symbolic, but still, it's a pretty nice gesture. Like I was just saying to Liss, Obama is the anti-Bush in so many ways. It's not just that he's a Democrat (and African-American and young and erudite and well-spoken, etc., etc.) but it's like everything he does is the complete antithesis of his predecessor. (See below.) Even his symbolic gestures are a complete repudiation of the last administration's every policy.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Chocolate Rain

Somewhere in Indiana, a chocolate waterfall. As best I can tell, it reaches some thirty feet to the ceiling of the world's least-inviting candy factory.

Filmed while visiting Liss and Iain last weekend. If you listen closely, you can hear the two of them muttering in the background.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Smiles, Everyone... Smiles!

The above photo is currently on Yahoo News' front page. I love the look of genuine joy on Barack and Michelle's faces. I also dig Laura's very professional, if not just a bit insincere expression. But none of that compares to George's mug, with its sheen of incredulity, the obviously forced grin, as if he's thinking "I can't fucking believe this shit is really happening."

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Worst Name For A TV Show Since Shasta McNasty

Coming soon to the small screen, "a half-hour comedy based on the true story of Kathleen Holtz, who ... at age 18 to become [California's] youngest lawyer." And the title of this show:

Barely Legal.

I shit you not. Way to go, NBC. I bet you think you're really fuckin' clever, don't you?

Monday, January 12, 2009

Package Stimulus

First Amendment advocate and noted misogybag Larry Flynt needs a bailout. Flynt, along with predatory douchehound and all-around scumfuck Joe Francis, is asking Congress for $5 billion to help the porn industry.

According to Flynt, "People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

People may be too depressed to be sexually active, but apparently they're not too depressed for a wank: "...The industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow." Well, that's good news.

So why are Flynt and Francis asking Congress for money? Free publicity, I guess. It's one way to get your name on the CNN ticker without getting arrested.

I just don't know why Dink Flamingo doesn't jump on this too. It has to beat spending your days at the Army Surplus outlet sniffing around the dress blues. Then again, Dink's probably got too much class to hang around the likes of Flynt and Francis.


Friday, January 09, 2009

On the HRC

The other day I received an interesting email from the Human Rights Campaign. I didn't keep it, but the general gist of the thing was about their response to how Rick Warren, "who equates gay marriage with incest, pedophilia and polygamy, was chosen to speak at President-elect Obama's inauguration." The HRC was clearly upset by this turn of events.

All I have to say is WTP, HRC? You backed Obama without reservation, never once (as far as I have ever seen) calling him out on any of his alliances with anti-gay bigots, and now you're acting all surprised about the Rick Warren thing? What the hell did you think was going to happen? Sure, the Warren fiasco is disappointing, but hardly surprising.

At least not to those of us who haven't been willing to look the other way when it was politically expedient to do so.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Obama Not Likely To

In what is now probably my favoritest headline of all time: Obama Not Likely To Make It To Gay Leather Events During Inaugural Weekend.

Well... damn. As a spokesperson for the president-elect put it, "Let's just say it's likely the president-elect will be occupied with many other activities."

You know what I loved about this article? (Aside from the ridiculous premise here that Obama might have otherwise swung by if he just wasn't so damn busy. Seriously, how did that question even get asked?) The reaction from Obama's camp. The spokesperson at least seems totally unbothered by the idea. "Hey, wanna come to our leather party?" "Nah, we've already got plans, but thanks anyway." Not the typical hand-wringing I'd normally have expected. Good for Team Obama.

Maybe next year Obama's schedule will be a little freer.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Bad Idea of the Day

President-elect Barack Obama is resurrecting an idea that fell short of enactment twice in 2008: allowing companies a speedier recovery of their current losses through refunds of taxes they paid on earnings in previous years.

The extension of net operating loss carryback from two years to five, which is favored by Republicans, would provide instant refunds to some of the firms that have been hit hardest by the recession, including large portions of the financial services and real estate industries.
The whole story is here. While reading it, this line struck me: "Republican leaders have said that they are more likely to support a stimulus bill that contains GOP ideas." Huh? Really? You don't say. Wevs.

Okay, this may or may not be a good idea. (Probably not, but I'll leave that to our resident economists to debate.) But you know what is not a good idea? Giving in to those fucks in the Republican Party.

Mr. President-Elect, remember that spanking they got in November? That landslide victory you and your party claimed? That was practically a mandate not to give them anything, for fuck's sake. Screw those guys. The country has seen their work these last eight years and is fed the fuck up with their bullshit ideas. Let's try something else.