Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Who Is John Galt?

Who is John Galt? These people!:

[Video description: A two minute montage of people saying "I am John Galt."]

A while back the Online Marketing Director for Atlas Shrugged: Part I: The Great Shruggening asked fans of his movie to tumblr themselves saying "I am John Galt." And they did. All 1440 of them. Oof!

And oh, happy day! They're all getting their faces in a bonus feature on the DVD! The above video is a sneak peek. Yes, it's terribly edited, and the sound is a muddled mess where you can barely hear anything because the music is drowning everything else out.

But, Objectivism, so it's cool: People grabbing their webcams and SD cards and Skypes and "Going Godard" by filming themselves. (Neo-realism in action, you Eberts!)

I've yet to see the movie, and I hope they'll send me a review copy of the DVD soon. (You hear me, Online Marketing Director for Atlas Shrugged: Part I DVDs? Send me a copy!) I don't know if this is something that happens in the film. But I do know it's something that happens in Spartacus when a Ragtag Band of Rebels pull together to help a comrade. Which, I think, is the exact opposite of the whole Objectivist philosophy.

In Atlas Shrugged I thought John Galt was the guy who took his ball and went home, figuratively speaking. He up and disappears, thereby denying an ingrateful world his special brand of genius. I guess then maybe all these people are going to "Go Galt" and leave? Is that what they're saying?

I mean, that sounds like an okay idea, honestly. Except for the kids. There are a lot of kids in the video. I don't think they should just run away. Most kids probably can't look after themselves. Except maybe this guy.

Twittering! With Liss and Deeky!

Yesterday, on Twitter:

Shakestweetz: In which Professional Homosexual Deeky W. Gashlycrumb suggests an alternative hobby for the homosex-obsessed:

DeekyMD: I love that I am a Professional Homosexual now.

Shakestweetz: I'm totes gonna get you business cards.

[Later that day...]

Shakestweetz: You're open for business. (Pun intended, obviously.)

DeekyMD: You're such a doofus! LOLOLOL!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Felonious Activities

Bryan Fischer, reigning d-bag at the AFA, wants to criminalize sodomy. As far as Fischer is concerned, touching your no-no is a big no-no.

On his radio show yesterday (where is this airing?) Fischer said: "Until the late 20th Century, homosexual activity was a felony offense in the United States of America, there is no reason why it cannot be a criminal offense once again." Hear that, homos? If Fischer had his way, your next Scattergories party would be against the law! (That's an activity homosexuals enjoy, isn't it?)

Oh, wait, I think he means sodomy.

And it's probably just the gay sodomy Fischer is worried about. It's unclear what Fischer thinks of non-gay sodomy between married, heterosexual couples. My guess is he gives it a big sad face. I bet Fischer gives everything the big sad face. Hey, does anyone know what the bible's official position is on backdoor action? If you've some insight, please let me know in comments. Or not. Honestly, I don't care. (Biblical scholars and pedants take note: I don't actually care.)

I'm not sure why Fischer and his ilk are sooooo obssessed with the gay sex. Especially considering how much they hate it. I mean, I talk about the gay sex all day long (follow my twitters for reference), and I actually enjoy it, but I know I talk about it a lot less than Fischer and the AFA does.

Jeez Louise, find a hobby, you guys! May I suggest Scattergories?

Friday, August 26, 2011

If It's Friday, It's Boba Fett!

A fun Friday afternoon waster of time here is. (Yoda.) The name of each person (or not, if they happen to be non-humanoid) below begins with a letter of the alphabet (Modern Latin). A, B, C and so forth all the way down through Z. (Or "zed" if you're British.) Can you name them all? You can! You're a nerd.

(Click to engage tractor beam.)

Damn. I choked. Fucking prequels. (And ewoks.) Who has seen the ewok movies? Anyone? I sure haven't. But it is my newest goal. See those ewok movies, Deeky! (Netflix?) Good luck, I hope everyone did better than me.

The answers are here.

You Sank My Ouija Board!

Good news, film fanatics!

Hollywood has come to its senses and cancelled the Ouija board movie they had in devlopement. (See here.) Maybe because the movie had been already made twenty-five years ago starring Tawny Kitaen and was called Witchboard. (See here.) And you just know how Hollywood hates to recycle an idea. (See here.) So, buh bye, Ouija Board: Curse of the Plinth, don't let the popcorn hit you in the ass on the way out.

In less good news, Battleship is in post-production, meaning it's all done being filmed and now they just need to Photoshop in some Burger King tie-ins. (See here.) Just in case you're worried this movie might not suck, note two things: It's being directed by Peter Berg (see here) and the lead character is named Stone Hopper (see here). So, yeah, obviously the Academy™ has already given it all of the awards for next year, even some Grammies.

Speaking of Grammies, this is a thing:

It's an album of blues songs. Because when I think of the blues I always think of rich, white, English TV stars. Don't you? Very bluesy, no doubt. Like Eric Clapton. (See here.)

In other entertainment news Guillermo del Toro, whose work people seem to enjoy (see here), has a new movie out today, so I guess you can go see that this weekend. (See here). I think it's a sequel to Gremlins. (See here.) Should be fun. If you like Gremlin movies.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Glenn Beck Continues Speeding Toward Irrelevance

I was sitting here trying to think up something clever to say about Glenn Beck's latest flop. But I got nothing. Earlier this week Beck held a pro-Israel rally in Jerusalem called Restoring Courage. Only about 1000 people showed up: a small turn-out for the man who once brought in three million viewers a night on Fox News.

It's a sad state of affairs when you can't even draw people to a pro-Israel rally in Israel. That's like everyone at Disneyland ignoring the Main Street Electrical Parade. Oof!

Oh, hey, was that clever? Marginally, I'd say. My work here is done.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Today in Whoops!

Pope Benedict tried to deliver an anti-gay speech this weekend at a World Youth Day appearance in Spain but had to stop when God told him to shut the fuck up.

Oh, you know how God is these days. He's forgone the burning bush of old and now speaks through weather, stains, and other phenomena. (He even emotes through earthquakes according to one rabbi.)

So, anyway, Benedict started giving his speech, when suddenly: "powerful winds and sheets of rain struck, whipping off his skullcap, shaking the stage and knocking over at least one tent." Uh oh and whoops!

The pope fled God's wrath, leaving the stage. The remainder of the speech remained undelivered, but the Vatican assures us it is still valid, whatever that means. No word on whatever became of the pope's skullcap. I'm hoping a goupie got it, like some of Elvis' lint in the '68 Comeback Special.

When reached for comment, God responded with this.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Tom Waits' Private Listening Party

Tom Waits' new album Bad as Me will be released October 25 on Anti- Records

Friday, August 19, 2011

Bootstrap Island

The guy who invented Paypal has a dream. That dream: build an island in international waters and make it a Libertarian Paradise. Super! I say go for it.

Peter Thiel, the Paypal guy, believes that freedom and democracy are no longer compatible (really, he said that once), so the next step is to create a whole new country. In the sea. A country with "no welfare, looser building codes, no minimum wage, and few restrictions on weapons."

Yeah, okay. A floating city. In the middle of the ocean. Made under the aegis of "looser building codes." Excellent idea. Nothing can go wrong there, can it?

I'm not sure exactly how any of this is supposed to work. A country made up of greedy people with guns and ... ? Oof. Really, whut? Let's think it through, maybe we'll figure it out together: you build an island, okay, so far so good. Libertarians move there. Perfect! Then what? Commerce? (Free trade, no doy.) I guess they could exploit their natural resources (saltwater, seagull farts). Business!

Well, whatever, I am sure they've a solid plan! Go, libertarians! No, really, go. Please, move to your private island. Part Waterworld, part Bioshock, part Thunderdome. Sign me up: I love leather chaps!

Thiel's long-term plan (really) is to get to a space station of some sort. Off world! (Beware the replicants, buddy!) Hey, like Sun Ra said "Space is the place to achieve determinance of the ideal Randian state of objectivist moral worth." He said that, right? It was a b-side.

Anyway, this is gonna happen. Libertarians get shit done (famous bumper sticker) and this is no exception.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Blade Runner 2: Blade Harder

Dateline, Hollywood: Ridley Scott to direct new version of the sci-fi classic Blade Runner!

Last week Ridley Scott helmed (Hollywood talk) a prequel to Alien called Prometheus which may or may nor include a Frankenstein. Anyway, that will soon be in a theater and on a Blu-Ray™ and at a Redbox (standard admonishment here) near you. Double anyway, this has inspired him to return to the very profitable (it wasn't) Blade Runner franchise with a whole new movie-going experience. Perhaps in 3D.

It is unclear whether Scott will make a sequel or a prequel or maybe even a re-imagining. I love when something is imagined once and then re-imagined again. Good stuff. Very imaginative. Also unclear is if Harrison Ford will return (he won't) or whether they'll cast the Jonas Brothers in his place. The Jonas Brothers are big with the tweens and the SyFy (sci-fi) fans, so yay for synergy.

But, boo for murderous Replicants. Why so murderous, guys? (And girls! Replicants can be women, too!) Maybe you just need more positivity in your short, enslaved little lives. Here's an idea: start calling yourselves RepliCANs. "That's the spirit!" (Famous movie quote.)

Well, I am pretty sure Bradley Cooper will be in this, probably as Batty. And Reese Witherspoon will be Rachel. I also vote for Sean Young (now that she has been eliminated from Ice Skating with Some Stars) in a cameo as the old racist police captain. I'll leave other casting choices to you. Comments are go!

So, dystopiaphiles, what do you think? Good idea or bad? And who should do the theme song? If Brion James were still alive I'd just ask him. But he's not. So I am asking you. Discuss!

Also, Alien prequel? Oof!

Enchanted Village

The remnants of a mini theme park now stand (sort of) rotting and derelict in the woods behind a strip mall appropriately named The Enchanted Village Shopping Center.

Love Is Like Oxygen

Sweet: "Love Is Like Oxygen"

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

I Would Like To Own This Album

I'm Old Fashioned by WIlford Brimley

Monday, August 15, 2011

Six Facts You May Not Know About Truman Capote

Rhett Miller's 1989 debut album Mythologies contains the track "Song for Truman Capote."

In Charles Bukowski's poem "Nothing but a Scarf" Capote is referred to as an "ice-skater-of-a-writer."

George Lucas used Capote's voice as the inspiration for the voice of Ziro the Hutt, in Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

In 1982 Gary Numan released a single titled "Music For Chameleons," borrowing the name from Capote's book

The Bent Scepters included the song "Kissing Truman Capote's Picture" on their 1996 album.

On an episode of Barefoot Contessa, host Ina Garten throws a party in honor of Capote's Black & White Ball featuring food prepared as it was at the 1966 event.

Important Update on the Status of Sandra Bullock's Groove

She got it back.


Friday, August 12, 2011


And, no, I don't know what it means.

Meet Allan!

He's Ken's buddy

All of Ken's clothes fit him! Which is always nice.


RIP Jani Lane

I've liked Jani Lane ever since I saw this interview with him a few years ago. RIP Jani.

Monday, August 01, 2011

The Awesomest Picture From Otakon

Left to right: Vashti Green as the Mad Hatter, Randy Westry as March Hare, and Monique Gilliam as Alice from Alice in Wonderland.

[Via The Baltimore Sun.]

Jeff Stryker: Bigger Than Life

Jeff Stryker: "Bigger Than Life"