Or, Charlie, You're A Bore
[Originally Aired January 25, 2006]
Charlie has a flashback-cum-nightmare where he's a twee little thing and on Christmas Day instead of presents he gets a new piano and suddenly his brother is full grown but playing with toys then dad is there butchering meat and all kinds of weird shit. Then Charlie is on the beach and playing the piano like it's an Elton John video until he hears Turniphead Aaron crying. The crying comes from inside the piano which suddenly tips over into the surf and starts to float out to sea. Charlie wakes and checks on Aaron but Claire tells him to get lost. Hurley asks Sawyer about Libby until Sawyer starts to rib him about it. Then Sawyer sees Ana and Jack exiting the jungle together and intimates to Kate that the two are boning each other. In flashback, Charlie visits his newborn nephew, but his brother is too strung out to make it to his own son's birth. On the island, Charlie plays his guitar on the beach and he hears Aaron crying. Charlie frantically looks around and sees Aaron's crib floating out to see. He swims out to save him and when he gets back on shore he sees his mother and Claire on the beach in robes and with halos and then Hurley comes out of the jungle dressed like Jesus and asks what Charlie is doing. He asks again. And suddenly Charlie is awake from his dream and it is the middle of the night and Hurley wants to know why he has Aaron and id standing in the water. Charlie doesn't know. Claire takes Aaron from him and slaps him. Everyone thinks Charlie is being a douche. Sawyer tells Hurley to do his laundry with Libby and at the hatch the two flirt but Hurley kind of sucks at it. Driveshaft films a diaper commercial, but Charlie's drug-addled state gets them fired. On the island Charlie asks Locke to put in a good word with Claire for him but Locke thinks he's using drugs again. Then Locke confiscates all Charlie's Heroin Mary statues. Charlie goes to Eko, who is out in the jungle marking trees he likes, whatever the hell that means. Eko tells Charlie the baby needs baptizing. In flashback Charlie is writing a new song but all his brother wants to do is get high. Later his brother sells the piano and uses the money to move his family to Australia. Charlie is all alone. In the jungle Charlie sets a brushfire and in the chaos of trying to put it out he kidnaps Turniphead and attempts to baptize him. His plan is interrupted when Claire raises the alarm. Charlie tells everyone Eko told him to baptize the baby and Eko calls bullshit on his explanation. Charlie gives Aaron back to Claire then Locke beats the shit out of Charlie. Everyone leaves Charlie to wallow in the surf. Charlie is all alone. Until Jack comes to stitch him up. Charlie says he won't pester Aaron and Claire again. Meanwhile, Locke puts the Heroin Marys in the gun locker.