Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Or, The New Sheriff In Town

[Originally Aired March 4, 2009]

Open on Sawyer yanking on the rope as it disappears into the dirt. Juliet tells him it's no use. John is gone and they're in a time before the well was dug. "Way before," says Miles. They look behind them and see a huge statue. Oh. My. God! That's the one from season two! ("I don't know what is more disquieting; the fact that the rest of the statue is missing, or that it has four toes.") Down in the chamber below, Locke sets the wheel back on its axis. Up top, time slips again, but it's different this time. Afterward, they note they're headaches are gone, and the nosebleeds have stopped. "I think it's over. I think John did it." Sawyer jumps into the well to find Locke. But no luck. The well has been filled in. Nothing but dirt and rocks all the way to the top. Now what? We wait for him to come back. For how long? "As long as it takes." Cut to a Dharma station with lots of video monitors. Jerry and Rosie dance around the station to a Tony Orlando and Dawn record. Phil shows up and is pissed. Not about there being a Tony Orlando and Dawn record on either. Jerry tells Phil "Don't be such a bummer, man. Rosie was just droppin' off some brownies. You should thank her." Oh, are we going to finally see the Dharma weed growing operation? Phil says he'll have to answer to LaFleur if anything happens. Who the fuck is LaFleur? Then they notice something on the monitors. "Is that a Hostile?" No, it's Horace. And he's drunk. And playing with dynamite. Oh, this can't be good. "We gotta get LaFleur" Phil says. Jerry says fuck that, it's three AM, maybe we can take care of this ourselves. "And maybe Horace blows himself up, and LaFleur kills us for not waking him." Who the fuck is LaFleur? A short while later, Jerry and Phil knock on LaFleur's door. They apologize for waking him and tell them they have a situation. Who the fuck is LaFleur? LaFleur is Sawyer! What the fuck? Sawyer walks out of his bungalow, his Dharma jumpsuit says "Head of Security" on the breast. What the fuck? Sawyer and Miles (what the fuck?) head out in a Dharma van to find Horace. "Since when does Horace drink?" Miles asks. He doesn't, says Sawyer, so they need to keep this quiet. By the time they find Horace, he's passed out. Sawyer takes him to his wife. Her name is Amy and she's pregnant. He asks what they were fighting about. "It was about Paul." Who the fuck is Paul? Before we find out, Amy goes into labor. Swell. Title card: Three Years Earlier. Faraday sits on the jungle floor sobbing. Sawyer and the rest return. He tells them Charlotte died, and then disappeared. Sawyer asks if they've stopped moving through time, and Faraday tells them whenever they are now, is when they are for good. Swell. Sawyer says they should head back to the beach, but Miles thinks that idea sucks. Sawyer doesn't give a shit what Miles thinks and wanders off. Privately, Juliet tells Sawyer going to the beach is a shitty idea, but at least it's a plan. As they head through the jungle they hear gunshots. Through the bushes they see Amy crying over the dead body of Paul. Two Others tell her to get on her feet as they drape a bag over her head. Sawyer walks out and tells them to drop their weapons. One of the Others fires at Sawyer but misses. Juliet fires back and doesn't. The other Other aims at Sawyer. Sawyer shoots him dead too. Jin takes their walkie-talkie, but there's nothing but static on it. Amy asks who the hell Sawyer and his buddies are. "Our ship wrecked here on the way to Tahiti." Amy tells them they have to bury the Others, and they have to carry her husband home. Sawyer relents after Jin says he'll carry Paul's body. As they head toward the Dharma camp Sawyer says "When we get there, there's gonna be a lot of questions. So just keep your mouth shut. Let me do the talking. I'm a professional. I used to lie for a living." They reach the pylons and Juliet tells Amy to shut down the fence. Amy plays dumb and Juliet plays less dumb, saying "Listen, sister, we're the ones who just saved your life and hid those bodies. So how about you trust us and turn that damn thing off?" Amy shuts the fence down and walks through it. Jin, Sawyer, Juliet, Miles and Daniel walk through and fall to their knees, out cold. Amy pulls earplugs from her ears and smiles. Ingrate. Title card: Three Years Later. Amy (ingrate) is in the delivery room, screaming. The baby is breech. She needs a Cesarean. And the doctor doesn't know how to do one. Sawyer runs to the motorpool and talks to the mechanic, Juliet. She doesn't want to do the operation. "Don't you understand that every time I try to help a woman on this island give birth, it hasn't worked?" He tells her she has to try. Juliet and Sawyer return to the hospital and Juliet starts asking for anesthetic and scalpels. The doctor is stunned and Sawyer tells him to shut up and do what he's told. Sawyer steps outside and runs into one of his crew: Jin. "We finished grid 1-3-3 today. No sign of our people. No one," he says, perfectly fluent now. Juliet comes outside and tells them the baby is okay, and it's a boy. Sawyer smiles. Flashback to three years earlier and Sawyer wakes up in the rec room with Horace standing over him. Horace asks who he is. "My name's James LaFleur. You can call me Jim. We got caught in a storm. Our ship wrecked. Must've hit the reef. Thankfully, we washed up on shore. We were searching for a famous lost wreck. It's an old slaver out of Portsmouth, England, called the Black Rock." Damn, he's good. Sawyer tells them they were looking for missing crew members when they stumbled across Amy (ingrate). Horace says they have to leave on tomorrow's sub, but if they find any other survivors they'll ship them along after them. Meanwhile Faraday, Miles, Juliet and Jin sit around a table in the Dharma compound. Juliet points out her former/future bungalow. Faraday sees a toddler Charlotte. Horace brings Sawyer back and tells him to fill everyone in. Sawyer tells them they're getting sent to Tahiti. Then an alarm sounds and Phil runs by and rounds up the survivors and huddles them into a nearby bungalow. Everyone in the camp runs for cover. From inside Sawyer peeks through a curtain and sees Alpert in the compound. Horace approaches Alpert and tries to defuse the situation. Alpert is none too pleased. Horace enters the bungalow and Sawyer says he'll go explain things to Alpert. Horace tells him no. Sawyer says fuck you, I ain't asking for permission. He heads out and says "Hello, Richard. I'm the guy that killed your men. Heard some gunshots, saw two men throwing a bag over a woman's head. Gave them a chance to throw the weapons down and walk away, but one of them took a shot at me, and I defended myself." Sawyer explains he's not Dharma and the truce isn't broken. Then he asks if they buried Jughead. Alpert is all what the fuck, how did you know that? "Twenty years ago, some bald fella limped into your camp and fed you some mumbo jumbo about being your leader. And then poof, he went and disappeared right in front of you. Any of this ringinh a bell? That man's name is John Locke, and I'm waiting for him to come back." Okay then. Sawyer heads back inside and Horace tells Amy (ingrate) that they need to give Paul's body to Alpert. "They can take him. He would want to keep us safe," she says. Later that night Sawyer tells Juliet that Horace is allowing them to stay for two weeks, until the next sub comes back. Juliet says she's leaving in the morning. Even if it is 1974. Sawyer asks her to reconsider, stay they two weeks. "All right, she says. "Two weeks." Title card: Three Years Later. Sawyer heads home, picks a flower, takes it inside. Dinner is on the table, there's a box of Dharma wine. Juliet welcomes him inside. I love you, she says. I love you, too, he replies. They kiss. So much for only satying two more weeks. Later that night Sawyer sits next to Horace. Horace finally stirs from his stupor. Sawyer tells Horace he has good news and bad news. "Good news: You're a daddy. Bad news is you missed it. Now how about you tell me why you're too busy drinking and blowing up trees to see him get born?" Horace tells how he found a necklace of Paul's in Amy's dresser. He asks if three years is enough to get over someone. Sawyer says "I had a thing for a girl once. And I had a shot at her, but I didn't take it. For a little while, I'd lay in bed every night, wondering if it was a mistake. Wondering if I'd ever stop thinking about her. And now I can barely even remember what she looks like. She's just gone. And she ain't never coming back. So, is three years long enough to get over someone? Absolutely." The next morning the phone rings in Sawyer's bungalow. He says he'll be right there and runs out. Sawyer drives to a secluded spot on the island. Not far off, Jin is parked. His passengers exit: Jack, Hurley, and Kate.

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