Friday, January 08, 2010


Or, Put The Needle On The Record

[Originally Aired January 21, 2009]

It's 8:15 AM somewhere in the Seventies. Marvin Candle gets up and throws some Willie Nelson on the quadrophonic. The record skips as Candle dresses and heads across the barracks. He enters a building and cameras and lights are set up and someone hands him a script. He says he'll improv, like he's Billy Crystal or something. As the cameras roll, someone busts in and says "Dr. Chang! Sir, we got a problem down at the Orchid." And of course his name is not Candle. Why the hell would it be? He's always been lying about it. Liar. Cut to the Orchid, still under construction. An engineer tells Chang that their drills are melting. So he suggests using explosives. Chang says there are not to blow anything up. "This station is being built here because of its proximity to what we believe to be an almost limitless energy. And that energy, once we can harness it correctly, it's going to allow us to manipulate time." Okay, wevs, you loon, says the engineer. Chang walks out past another worker in a hardhat: Faraday. What the hell is he doing here? Cut to the Flash Forward Funeral Parlor and Ben and Jack are there. Ben has plans. Jack is stoned. He asks why everything turned to shit once they got back. "It happened because you left, Jack." Flashback to Ben turning the wheel. The island is engulfed in light. In the jungle Locke and Alpert stand near one another. Then Alpert and the Others disappear. On the zodiac, Faraday mumbles "We must've been inside the radius." On the beach Sawyer asks Juliet what that light was, then asks where the fuck the freighter went. Bernard stumbles out of the jungle asking if they've seen Rose. She appears moments later, confused. Sawyer tells them to calm down, they can all head back to camp. "We can't go back to the camp. There is no camp." They head back to where the camp should be, but nothing is there. Just coconuts and bushes and boar turds. Faraday lands with the zodiac and says they need to find a manmade structure "before it happens again." Sawyer asks where the fuck their camp went. "Your camp isn't gone. It hasn't been built yet." Oh fuck, they're travelling through time? Awesome. Back at Kate's house, someone knocks on her door. It's a lawyer named Norton. He has a court order demanding a blood sample from her and Aaron, "to determine your relationship to the child." Fuck you, Kate says and slams the door. She packs a bag and skedaddles with Aaron. Back in the jungle Sawyer tells Faraday to give him his shirt. Faraday is all, "bite me, Muscles, my shirt wouldn't fit you." Sawyer is all "wevs, just tell is what is going on." Faraday is condescending, so Sawyer slaps him. Faraday mumbles even harder because he's been slapped and says "Think of the island like a record spinning on a turntable. Only now, that record is skipping. Whatever Ben Linus did down at the Orchid station, I think it may have dislodged us." Faraday explains that either the island is moving through time, or they are. Either way, it's kind of fucked up. Locke wanders alone through the brush and hears a buzzing. He looks up and sees Yemi's plane overhead, sputtering and falling. It crashes out of sight and Locke races to the scene. He sees the plane teetering atop the cliff. Locke yells, but gets no response. He climbs the cliff and halfway up someone starts shooting at him. He's hit in the leg and falls. Ethan appears from the brush and puts a rifle in Locke's face. Locke says he know his name is Ethan and that Ben put him in charge. Ethan says that's pretty stupid and then says good-bye and points the rifle at Locke. And there's a flash and Locke is sent through time again. Lucky for him. Back in London, Sun attempts to board a plane at the airport. But she is detained. Widmore visits her and rattles off some bullshit about being disrespected by her visit on the street. Okay, wevs, she says. Widmore asks what their common interest is. "To kill Benjamin Linus." In L.A. news reports start to circulate about the murder at the hospital, and Hurley is identified at the prime suspect. Sayid drives Hurley to a safe house. Hurley thinks Sayid is paranoid. Sayid says you would be too if you had spent the last two years working for Ben. "Wait. He's on our side now?" Sayid tells Hurley if he ever sees Ben, to do the exact opposite of whatever he tells him. Sayid approaches the door of the apartment safe house. The door has been opened. Sayid pulls his gun and tells Hurley to wait outside. Sayid goes in, there is a tussle. Sayid drops his gun, but manages to shove his attacker over the railing. The man falls three stories to the parking lot below. Hurley picks up the gun and looks over the rail. Down below a bystander snaps his picture. Uh oh. Inside Sayid is attacked by another. This man shoots him with a dart gun. Sayid feigns being woozy and smacks the guy in the head with a pan. Then throws him into a pile of knives. Ouch. Hurley carries him to their car and speeds away from the scene, because he's really woozy now. In the jungle, Locke sits staring at his bleeding leg. Alpert shows up and Locke asks what the hell is going on. You're bleeding to death, that's what's going on, he says. He patches up Locke's wound and hands him his compass. "Next time we see each other, I'm not going to recognize you. You give me this. All right?" Locke is confused and Alpert continues "The only way to save the island, John, is to get your people back here. The ones who left. They're already home, so you have to convince them to come back." How the hell am I supposed to do that, he asks. "You're going to have to die, John." Damn. There's a another flash. Juliet and Faraday and the rest stare at the hole in the ground where the hatch used to be. After the flash, the hatch has returned. Sawyer starts to walk away and Miles asks where he's going. "Back door. I'm gettin' some supplies." Faraday tells him that's a bad idea. Sawyer is all "The sky can flash all it wants, but I ain't startin' over, Dilbert. I ain't rubbin' two sticks together and starting a fire, and I ain't huntin' damn boar! There's Dharma food, beer, and clothing in there. And I'm gettin' Desmond to let me in one way or another." Sawyer bangs on the door. Faraday tells him Desmond will never answer. "If it didn't happen, it can't happen. You can't change the past, James!" Sawyer grabs Faraday and snarls "Everybody I care about just blew up on your damn boat. I know what I can't change." Damn. Then Charlotte gets a nosebleed. She's gonna end up like Eloise the rat, ain't she? Everyone heads back to the beach except Faraday who goes to get his backpack at the hatch. He returns to the door alone and pounds on it until Desmond opens it up. He's in his biosuit and has a rifle and asks who the fuck Faraday is. "You need you to listen. You're the only person who can help us because, Desmond. The rules don't apply to you. You're special. You're uniquely and miraculously special. I need you to listen, or people are gonna die. My name is Daniel Faraday, and right now me and everyone else you left behind, we're in serious danger. You're the only person who can help us. I need you to go back to Oxford University. Go back to where we met. I need you to go there and find my mother." But before Faraday can give Dez her name he is sucked back through time. Flashforward and Dez wakes up in bed next to Penny. He tells her he was on the island. She tells him it was just a dream, he's been away from the island for years. "It wasn't a dream, it was a memory." He runs up stairs. The two are on a sailboat somewhere. He starts pulling up the anchor. Where are we going, she asks. "Oxford."

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