Sunday, February 14, 2010

Olympic Spirit (Or, Insomnia and My Inbox)

Late Friday night I received the following email from Liss:

Did you watch the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics? Gayest thing I've ever seen. Including traffic cone porn.

O Canada! indeed.

Naturally, I loved it.
I replied: "No. Forgot it was on. I did hear about the luge death. What a horrible way to die."

Well, I guess he died doing what he loved. (Worst silver lining ever.) I saw that he was born in 1988, and that just about did me in.

They had a moment of silence for him, and said a prayer for him, and put the Olympic flag at half-mast for him. All his team members were wearing black armbands. That was sad.

Everything else was like Cirque du Soleil meets So You Think You Can Dance meets James Cameron. Except if James Cameron had the aesthetic sensibilities of Jean Paul Gaultier.

Literally, if you see one clip of that shit, that'll totes make sense.

The best part was k.d. lang singing "Hallelujah." She. Was. Awesome.

Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams sang the opening song, and it was DREADFUL. Worst lip-synching I've ever seen. And I thought Nelly Furtado was Australian. Who am I thinking of? Natalie Imbruglia? Wevs. I could never tell those two apart.

Sarah McLachlan sang some bullshit. Too bad I inextricably associate her and her music with this tragic ASPCA advert they run here on a fucking loop, with her and her dog asking for donations (mostly her) while some shitty track about angels plays over images of sick dogs and cats. Christ. Now every time I hear her voice, I want to grab one of the cats and rock back and forth in the fetal position with them.

That is NOT the Olympic spirit!

Or maybe it is. Fuck if I know. I'm no Olympian. (News flash.)

Joe Biden was there, too. He's such a Prince Philip! I kept waiting for him to say something racist. He managed to get through a five-minute interview with Lester Holt without embarrassing all of America. Good job, Joey B!

p.s. I have insomnia.

If only James Cameron had the aesthetic sensibilities of Jean Paul Gaultier.


  1. No Biden didn't say anything racist but in an interview with Michael Landsberg he had the nerve to suggest that the American women's hockey team would defeat the Canadian women's hockey team. I get that he may not understand that hockey is OUR GAMEl; however, such language could result in an international incident. As a good Cannuck neighbour I have to suggest that you inform Obama about what Biden is stirring up over here. That little statement went a loop here and many were not impressed. LOL

  2. he may as well have declared war, eh?

  3. we would sooner him laugh at hour attack beavers

  4. hour = our but that's what you get when you comment on rum and coke. I think I should get a pass cause we all live in igloos here ;)