Thursday, September 03, 2009


Or, Holy. Fucking. Shit. Part II.

[Originally Aired May 17, 2006]

Flashback to Michael and Locke in the gun locker. Michael asks to borrow a rifle, he wants to practice more. Sure, says Locke. Then Michael "accidentally" knocks some shells on the floor and as Locke bends down to pick them up Michael cracks him on the head. Then Jack shows up and he gets locked in too. Michael returns to the computer and Walt tells him to head north toward the big rock with the hole in it. Michael then runs off into the jungle. Back to now, Michael is outside the hatch looking at a slip of paper. Four names are on it: Jack, Kate, Hugo and James. He burns it. Jack interrupts asking what he is doing. Just getting some fresh air, he says. Jack tells him to come back in the hatch. Inside he and Jack argue over who should come on the assault on the Others. Michael insists is just be Jack and Kate and Hurley and Sawyer. In flashback, Michael is captured by the Others. He sees they've captured Kate too, but she doesn't see him, and he overhears the exchange of Kate for the guns from the Hunting Party episode. While alone with Alex, she asks Michael about Claire and Turniphead, but he's mostly confused, as per usual. At the beach Hurley and Kate dig graves and Michael tries to talk Hurley into going on the assault, but he's not interested. Charlie gives Claire a case of antibiotics along with an injector, and she seems to be warming back up to him. I still think he's a giant douche, but wevs, I don't have to suck his dick. Later he continues work on the church alone, but it's really more a two-man job. While toiling Vincent brings him a Heroin Mary. He's annoyed. He follows Vincent to Sawyer's tent and finds the rest of them. He takes all the statues to the beach and throws them into the sea while Locke watches with disinterest. What's the deal with that dog anyway? Sawyer asks Jack about his trip into the jungle with Kate, and Jack tells him they got caught in a net. Sawyer finds this amusing. Sawyer recruits Sayid to help with the assault, but when Michael hears about it he demands Sayid not come. Sayid acquiesces. In flashback, Michael is brought to the Others' camp and he sees the big rock with the hole in it, and someone jabs him with a needle and takes his blood. Michael is all "what the fuck?" but they don't tell him much. In fact the ask him lots of questions. A woman named Ms. Klugh introduces herself and asks a fuckload of weird-ass questions. Like, has Walt ever been seen someplace he wasn't supposed to be? Again, Michael seems confused. Did no one tell him about how Walt would show up in the jungle dripping wet and talking backward? I guess not. Maybe Michael is just a dumbass. He seemed a lot smarter on Oz. At the hatch Jack and Sawyer load weapons for the attack. Sawyer tells Jack he slept with Ana before she died. That's how she got his gun. Jack asks how that happened, and Sawyer tells him "We got caught in a net." Jack doesn't seem amused and asks why he's telling him this. "'Cause you're about the closest thing I've got to a friend, Doc." Ana and Libby are brought to the beach for burial. Sayid approaches Jack and tells him he thinks Michael is working with the Others. The two decide to come up with a plan before morning. In flashback Klugh agrees to let Michael go and reunite him with Walt if Michael goes back and sets Fake Henry free. Michael agrees, but demands their boat too. Klugh gives him a list with four names on it and says he must bring these people, and only these people, back with him: Jack, Kate, Hugo and James. Michael asks who James is. Then Walt is allowed to see Michael for three minutes and Walt says they mostly make him take tests and he tries to warn Michael that the Others are just pretending. Michael seems confused. Jebus. At the beach, there is a funeral. Locke doesn't attend, instead he snips off his leg brace and disappears into the jungle. After a few words are said Hurley changes his mind and says he wants to go on the mission. Sun looks out at the waves and suddenly says "boat." What? "Boat!" Offshore is a sailboat. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

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