[Originally Aired May 24, 2006]
Jack, Sayid, and Sawyer strip down to their pants and pistols and swim out to the boat. Hawtness ensues as they climb onto the deck dripping wet. As they skulk around gunfire emanates from below deck. Uh oh. Sayid kicks in the hatch. Sitting below is a very drunk Desmond, holding a rifle and laughing. Huh? Flashback and Desmond is being released from a military prison. Among his personal effects returned to him is a copy of Our Mutual Friend by Dickens. The guard asks why he didn't take the book with him to the cell. Desmond didn't want to be tempted to read it. He wants it to be the last thing he ever reads. The guard is flummoxed, commenting that will only work if you know when you're going to die. Desmond is dishonorably discharged. Outside the prison a limousine is waiting. Desmond seems displeased by this. He is invited into the limo. Inside is an old English dude holding two boxes. One contains Desmond's past, he explains, the other his future. He pops the lid off the first one: It is filled with undelivered letters from Desmond to Penny. Dez is pissed. The other contains a big stack of cash: Dez's payoff for never contacting the man's daughter ever again. On the island, Dez tells Jack he sailed due west for two weeks, long enough to reach Australia or Africa or just about anywhere. But he ended up right back at the island. Dez is convinced the islands is inescapable. He drowns his sorrows in Dharma scotch. Meanwhile, in the hatch Locke tries to convince Eko to let the clock run down, but Eko refuses. Locke grabs Eko's murderstick and tries to smash the computer, but Eko stops him. He roughs up Locke and tosses him out of the hatch, telling him to not come back. In L.A. Dez steps off a plane and tries to buy a mochaccino but has no American money, so a native hands him a few bucks. Dez thanks the woman. It's Libby. Dez jokingly asks if she has a spare 40 grand she could also slide his way. The two chat and Dez reveals he needs to money to acquire a boat to sail around the world and win a race sponsored by Penny's dad. Libby offers up her boat. The one her recently deceased husband left her. Later, as Dez prepares for his race, Penny approaches him and asks why he never wrote. He asks when she's getting married. Then asks how she found him. She says with enough money and determination you can find anyone. In the jungle Charlie finds Locke crying and decides to kick him when he's down, because that's the kind of douche he is. He tells him about Desmond's return and suggests he ask him about the hatch. Meanwhile Jack and Sayid formulate a plan. Sayid will sail around to the Others' beach and scope them out before Jack and his pals make it there by foot. When it's time to attack, Sayid will send up black smoke. It's a good plan, excepting how Sayid knows shit about sailing. He recruits Jin, and Sun demands to come along too. In flashback Dez sails through a storm. Things are rough. Cut to him lying on the shore of the island. Someone in a biosuit drags him inland. Later Dez wakes in the hatch and Biosuit asks "What did one snowman say to the other?" Dez is clueless. Biosuit pulls off his mask and he's Clancy Brown. What the hell? How's he get here? Jebus. "There can be only one!" Anyway, Jack and Kate and Sawyer and Hurley and Michael head through the jungle, and a giant bird swoops down on them. Michael tries to shoot it but his gun is empty. Jack plays dumb, saying he must've forgot to load it. Michael seems suspicious. Hurley asks if the bird said his name. Sawyer thinks he's crazy. Locke and Dez discuss the button, and Dez explains that the site is an anomaly and an electromagnetic buildup must be discharged every 108 minutes. Locke convinces him that they should let the time run out and see what happens. All they need to do is get Eko out of there. In flashback Clancy (AKA Inman) schools Dez in the ways of button pushing and antibiotic injections. For years they stay inside, quarantined, with only Inman making the occasional trip outside in the biosuit. One night Dez finds Inman in a secret compartment below the floor, drunk. He's a key in a lock and Dez asks what it is for. The failsafe. Turning the key will obliterate the station. Inman can't bring himself to turn it. Locke and Dez cut the power to the hatch, luring Eko outside. In the dome Dez monkeys with some wires and triggers a lockdown. Eko is trapped outside the dome. He pounds on the door but Locke and Dez refuse to let him back in. In the jungle Kate whispers to Sawyer that they're being followed. Suddenly she opens fire and Sawyer follows suit, killing one of the Others. The second one gets away, and it appears their surprise attack may be compromised. Then Jack reveals he knows Michael is full of shit and let Fake Henry go, killing Ana and Libby in the process. Everyone is pissed at Jack for lying to them, but they're more pissed at Michael for being a murderous, betraying asshole. Hurley asks him why he killed Libby. Michael claims he hadn't planned to, it just happened. Hurley asks is he had it all over to do again, would he still kill her to get Walt back. Everyone knows the answer. As the boat crew sails around the island they spy something odd on the shore: The left foot of a giant sculpture, all that remains of the once mighty statue. Sayid states "I don't know what is more disquieting; the fact that the rest of the statue is missing, or that it has four toes." Jebus. They continue around the island and see "the rock with the hole in it." Sayid goes ashore and finds the camp deserted. He enters the hatch, but it's just a façade, there's nothing behind the doors but rocks. Eko climbs out the back door to the hatch, and sees that the door has been blown off with explosives. He asks Charlie how they got the door open and Charlie tells him about the dynamite they found. Charlie gives him the spare sticks so they can blow open the blast doors. In flashback Inman heads out in his biosuit again and Dez begs to go outside. He hasn't been out in three years. Inman refuses, saying "There can be only one... outside." Dez notices a tear in the biosuit but says nothing. He follows Inman out and sees him take off the gasmask a few yards from the door. Dez follows Inman through the jungle to the shore and sees his boat anchored safely off shore. Dez confronts him about it, and Inman confesses he's been repairing it to escape the island. He invites Dez along, but the two fight anyway, and Inman gets knocked down, bashing his skull on a rock. Oops. Dez takes the failsafe key runs back to the hatch but is too late to hit the button. The computer screen fills up with "system failure, system failure, system failure..." over and over again. The earth shakes, the electromagnet screeches. Dez pounds on the keyboard and the computer finally accepts the input and the magnet discharges. Whew! In the jungle the rescue party sees a giant pile of pneumatic tube containers. Near the top of the pile is the exit tube. The capsules aren't delivered to headquarters at all. They're just dumped into the jungle. What the hell? At the hatch, Charlie tells Locke to open the door before Eko blows it open. Dez tells Locke his friends are wasting their time. Locke says "They're not my friends." Locke then tells another of his semi-poignant stories about how he pounded on the hatch asking for a sign and then a light came on inside, but how he realizes now it was probably just Dez going to use the john. Outside, Eko lights the fuse and Charlie suddenly realizes their in a tiny, enclosed space. Maybe not the best place to stand during an explosion. Duh. KABOOM! Eko and Charlie get knocked on their asses by the fireball. The door does not budge. Inside Dez starts to have second thoughts as he starts to look through the logs taken from Pearl Station. The rescue party sees Sayid's signal fire, and realize that they are nowhere near the beach. They ask Michael where the hell he's taken then, and he again protests he was only trying to save Walt. Suddenly Sawyer is shot with a dart and passes out. "Run!" Jack screams. But before long the whole party is down. Dez continues to search through the logs and finally asks how long Locke's been on the island. They pinpoint the day and figure out that they arrived on September 22. The day of the system failure. "I think I crashed your plane." Locke refuses to believe it and smashes the computer, once and for all ending the debate about the button. Somewhere else on the island, the rescue party is on dock, all tied up, on their knees, hooded. Their hoods are removed and the scraggly Others surround them. Cap'n arrives, and Kate says "Wfff nng uh wfff wff" through her gag. "What?" "She says she knows your beard is fake, Tom" answers Klugh. Tom smiles and pulls off his beard, complaining that it was itchy anyway. Fake Henry arrives, wearing rags, and asks Tom why he isn't wearing his beard. "They know," he says. In flashback, Dez sits alone in the hatch, pistol in one hand, Dickens in the other. He cries, aims the pistol at himself. Then a banging sounds interrupts him. What the hell? He runs and stares up at hatch door, as Locke pounds on it from outside. He smiles. Flash forward and the timer hits zero and the electromagnet winds up and the bunker shakes and everything metallic starts whizzing toward the charge. Outside the door Charlie helps Eko up while dodging flying knives and forks. Locke says something along the lines of "Well, shit, I really fucked this up, didn't I?" Dez tells him how he saved his life that night, so he could save Locke's in return. He tells Locke he's going to turn the failsafe key and destroy the Swan. Locke exits, tells Eko "I was wrong." Duh. Meanwhile Dez puts the key in, says "I love you, Penny" and turns the key. There is a bright white light and shuddering sounds that engulfs the entire island. A few moments later it fades. On the beach, Claire and Bernard stare into the sky, dazed. Something falls from above, nearly killing Bernard. It's the hatch door. Damn. On the pier Fake Henry concludes his deal with Michael. He turns over the boat and tells him if he heads to bearing 325 he'll be rescued. Before he steps onto the boat, Michael asks who the hell they are. "We're the good guys, Michael." Ummm, okay. Walt and Michael head out to sea while the rescue party glares at him. Douche. Klugh tells Hurley to get up and when he does she cuts his hands free. She tells him to go back to the beach and tell the rest of the survivors to never come back here. When Hurley asks about his friends, Fake Henry says they are going home with him. Meanwhile, in the Antarctic, or Siberia, or somewhere, two men bicker over a chess game. A computer nearby starts beeping. They glance over. "Electromagnetic Anomaly Detected." Uh oh. One of them picks up a phone. Somewhere else, a phone rings. Penny picks it up. "It's us. I think we found it."
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