Friday, September 25, 2009


Or, The Cage Match

[Originally Aired November 8, 2006]

Kate slips into a hotel room. Inside she admires her wedding veil. Suddenly there is a knock at the door. "Open up, it's the police!" Uh oh. Kate opens the door, and the cop is Nathan Fillian. He asks her if she wants to bone. Cut to post-boning, and the two lie in bed and ponder their upcoming nuptials. Nathan, AKA Kevin, calls Kate "Monica." This isn't going to end well, is it? Meanwhile, in his cage, Sawyer throws rocks at his buzzer. He seems cranky. Jack looks at Ben's test results and lets him know he should have been operated on "yesterday." Ben will die in a week, Jack tells him. Ben agrees to having surgery ASAP. Ben will die in a week, Jack tells him, because he's not going to operate on him. Psych! Danny rousts Kate and opens her cage. She refuses to go to work without Sawyer. Sawyer seems annoyed she's ruined his day off. Flashback and Kate is putting on her wedding dress. Mom-in-Law-to-be gives "Monica" a family heirloom necklace. Kevin and "Monica" (Kate) get married and live happily ever after. Psych! One night while out shopping, Kate enters a phone booth and whips out an egg timer. She calls Gunfingers and tells him she wants him to stop chasing her. They try to trace her call. Gunfingers says he'll quit chasing her if she quits running. But he knows she won't stop running, not even for her new man. The egg timer rings and Kate slams down the phone. Hey, Gunfingers: Psych! At the Pearl, Locke decides they should bury Eko there. They've had too many funerals at the beach, he says. They've no shovels, and Locke says he'll go fetch some if they wait with the body. Sayid wants to go with Locke but Locke is hesitant but eventually relents. In the jungle Sayid asks what killed Eko. Locke says he's seen the monster and thinks Eko died for a reason. Locke thinks that about everything though. Anyway, the whole trip to get shovels was just a ruse to find Eko's murderstick. Back at the grave, Eko is buried and Locke marks his grave with the stick. As he's pounding it into the earth, Locke notices something carved on it: "Lift up your eyes and look North." At the Hydra, Sawyer and Kate dig more rocks up, and suddenly an alarm starts blaring. "Warning! Compound breach!" Then Alex comes running in and starts nailing Others upside the head with her slingshot. She knocks a couple guards out and yells for Sawyer and Kate to come with her. Danny shows up with a gun and aims it at Alex. She asks about the boy in the cage, and then demands to talk to Ben. The Others jump her and drag her away. She screams to Kate "They're gonna kill your boyfriend just like they killed mine!" Back in her flashback, Kate serves her hubby some lemonade and asks him what he'd do if she were a fugitive. He's confused. Then woozy. She's spiked his drink. He passes out and she puts the heirloom necklace in his hand. At the Hydra, Juliet asks Kate to put on a hood. Kate says "fuck that" until Juliet tells her Danny is going to kill Sawyer but if she puts on the hood and comes with her maybe she can save his life. Juliet takes Kate to Jack. Jack asks if she's okay, asks about Sawyer. She tells him they're being kept in a cage. Then she asks him to perform the operation. Why, he wants to know. She says if he doesn't they'll kill Sawyer. Jack tells her to leave. Kate and Sawyer are taken back to their cages, and Danny tells Kate she should say good-bye to Sawyer tonight. Kate tells Sawyer about Jack and Ben and the surgery. Sawyer doesn't seem to care he's going to die. Kate climbs out of her cage again and breaks the lock on Sawyer's. Sawyer confesses there is nowhere to run to, that they're on a different island altogether. She asks why he never told her. "Because I wanted you to believe we had a damn chance." Kate kisses him. Then they get naked, finally, and get down to business in the cage. Back in his cell, Jack hears a voice through the intercom telling him to try the door. It's unlocked. He wanders the halls. He finds a gun locker and grabs a pistol. He stumbles across Ben's monitoring room, and sees Kate and Sawyer lying naked in each other's arms. Ben walks in and Jack points his gun at him. Ben looks at the monitor and expresses his surprise at the scene, saying he figured Jack was more Kate's type. Jack responds saying he'll do the surgery tomorrow because he really needs to get the fuck off this rock. The next day Jack puts Ben under with an assist from Juliet and a random Other. Meanwhile, Danny runs off to the cages while everyone else is preoccupied. Danny is surprised to find Kate in Sawyer's cage. There is a fight, and Danny drags Sawyer from the cage and puts a gun to his head. Uh oh. In the operating room, Jack pokes Ben with a scalpel and then punches the random dude and tells Juliet to back off. He yells at Tom "I just made a small incision in Ben's kidney sac. Now, if I don't stitch that back up in the next hour, he's dead. Now get in here, and bring that walkie-talkie!" Tom radios Danny and tells him to pick up, it's an emergency. Danny answers the call before he can shoot Sawyer. Tom tells him that Ben is going to die and to give the radio to Kate. Jack asks Kate if she remembers the story he told her on their first day on the island. She does. He tells her to get safe, and when she does, call him on the radio and tell him that story. She says she can't go. He yells "Run, kate, run!"


  1. Damn. I missed the hot Kate on Sawyer action. Did she use an egg timer then, too?

  2. no egg timer! she was still waiting on sayid to make one out of coconuts for her.

  3. Hmph. He's Sayid, not the Professor.