Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Chuck Norris Wants You To Buy A Flag

I learned two things reading Chuck Norris's latest commentary at WND. First, Chuck has a thesaurus. ("George Washington advised…", "Thomas Jefferson counseled…", "Patrick Henry taught…", "John Adams declared…") Secondly, he is very, very dumb. (Everything else.)

He also wants you to... ummm... Am I the only one experiencing a very vivid moment of déjà vu?

Oh, yeah, you know what? I already wrote this post. Six months ago.

And apparently Chuck is still using the same thesaurus and same patriotic quote compendium (and who says right-wingers hate books?) and is still blaming the ills of the country on Obama.

And he wants you to buy a flag.

Preferably one from the WND gift shop, maybe that lovely 13-star number designed by Betsy Ross, a woman who wasn't allowed to vote. These flags are perfect for Regular Folks who yearn for a simpler time when one group of people were property belonging to another group of people, and those distinctions of class and commodity were made by something so simple and honest as the color of one's skin.

Shit... déjà vu again.

Okay, fuck it, I'm outta here. If you need me I'll be out back in my action jeans practicing with my ninja throwing stars. That, I know, will at least be something new.

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