Or, The Ghost of Toshirō Mifune
In Los Angeles, Sawyer pulls that grift again where he's late for a meeting and spills a suitcase full of cash onto the bed. The woman he's with doesn't fall for it. She pulls a gun and tells him he's the sorriest con man ever. He confesses he's not really a con artist but a cop. She doesn't believe him so he says the magic word ("la fleur") and about 9000 cops come running in, including Sawyer's partner Miles. Ha! Back at the station Det. James Ford (ha!) tracks down every Anthony Cooper he can find while Miles sets him up on a date. It's a woman Miles' father works with at the museum. (Ha! This episode is so awesome.) It Charlotte and she asks him why he became a cop. He gives her some bullshit story about Bullitt but she doesn't buy it. He tells her he got to the point where he realized he was either going to be a cop or a criminal, so he chose to be a good guy. They go back to his place and fuck. After, she borrows a shirt from his dresser and finds a folder with photos and news clippings about his parents' murder. So he chucks her out. The next day Miles gets in his face. Not about Charlotte, but about secretly flying to Sydney. Sawyer tells him to mind his own business and Miles says fine, they're no longer partners. Later Sawyer takes Charlotte flowers and beer but she tells him to get lost. Sawyer tells Miles the truth, that he plans to kill Cooper if he finds him. Miles asks why he's telling him this. "So you can talk me out of it." Then someone smashes their car into Sawyer's and there is a chase. (It's obviously a woman because they only go out of their way in TV and movies to obscure someone's face like that so they can "surprise" you with the "hey, look! it's a girl!" moment later.) Sawyer catches her and it is revealed to be Kate. ("Surprise!") On the island Sawyer wanders around Claire's camp (which is a total low rent garbage disaster, by the way) and Jin wakes up. Jin says they need the skedaddle before Locke gets back. Sawyer tells him he's with Locke now. Then Locke brings the Others and the others to camp and someone asks what happened to everyone at the Temple. "The black smoke killed them," he says, which makes Cody (or whatever that Tailie boy was named) cry. Sawyer talks to Locke alone and asks what the fuck is going on. Locke confesses he's really the smoke monster and that all he wants to do is leave the island. Then he sends Sawyer to the Hydra island to see if there are any survivors and to check on the Ajira plane. Meanwhile Claire tries to kill Kate and Sayid just passively watches. Locke breaks up the fight and later apologizes to Kate. He lied to Claire about the Others having Aaron, so she kind of flipped out when she found out the truth. He says she's crazy, just like his mother was. Sawyer paddles to the Hydra and finds a pile of dead bodies. There is one lone survivor named Zoe. She says she was out gathering up firewood when she heard screams. She came back and found everyone dead. Sawyer pulls a gun and tells her she's full of shit. She whistles and a bunch of dudes come out of the jungle with guns. They take him to their submarine. There is something locked up below deck and he asks what it is. They take him to Widmore. Sawyer says he'll tell Locke the Hydra is cool and he'll bring him to the island and they can kill him. Sawyer goes back to the main island and pulls a total Yojimbo and tells Locke that Widmore is waiting for him. Then Sawyer tells Kate that while Locke and Widmore are duking it out, he and her can steal the sub.