Monday, March 28, 2011

Doomsday Pinpointed

Hold onto your bootstraps, kids! The end is fucking well nigh. As they say. Very nigh at that. Like two months away. Less than, really. Nevermind all that Mayan bullshit about 2012. The world is set to end May 21, 2011.

That is according to Harold Camping of Family Radio Worldwide. I don't know who Family Radio Worldwide is, but I checked and they run two stations here in town. They're on AM, so I've never heard them. Not even by accident. Nonetheless, Camping has pinpointed the exact day of dooms, using the following method:

  1. According to Camping, the number five equals "atonement", the number ten equals "completeness", and the number seventeen equals "heaven".

  2. Christ is said to have hung on the cross on April 1, 33 AD. The time between April 1, 33 AD and April 1, 2011 is 1,978 years.

  3. If 1,978 is multiplied by 365.2422 days (the number of days in a solar year, not to be confused with the lunar year), the result is 722,449.

  4. The time between April 1 and May 21st is 51 days.

  5. 51 added to 722,449 is 722,500.

  6. (5 x 10 x 17)² or (atonement x completeness x heaven)² also equals 722,500.

See? I dare you to argue with that. It can't be done. Seriously, I am sure it is impossible to counter any type of argument against that. Of course, I am not a mathematician, so I could be wrong. Camping isn't a mathematician either, so who knows if he is wrong. I bet he believes he's right. I bet a lot of people believe he is right.

If Camping is wrong, then a lot of people have wasted a lot of money painting RVs. If he is right, there'll be a lot less traffic after the Rapture.

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