Monday, March 28, 2011

Blood Freak

I'm not going to bother explaining the plot of this one because, first, it's totally irrelevant, and second, it's completely idiotic. All you need to know about Blood Freak is this: Herschel (Steve Hawkes) smokes some pot, eats some tainted poultry, and turns into a blood-sucking, lady-killing, turkey-headed monster!

That's my review. Sorry, folks, there really isn't anything more to say other than you need to see this one, right now.


The cinematographer appears to have ingested 9000 demitasses of espresso. Some shots are jittery enough to induce vomiting. He may have also been working with his eyes closed, as the camera is often out of focus, and/or framed at random.

The sound is a mess. It varies widely between shots, ranging from being barely audible, to tinny, to muddy, to every so often being passable. On the other hand, the music is consistently mediocre throughout.

The narrator (Brad F. Grinter) did not bother to learn his lines. He pauses every few words to look down and read his script. He trips up a few times, but there are no retakes. Best part: when he has a coughing fit near the end of the film.

The turkey sounds at the farm are obviously people saying "gobble gobble" and making other "animal" noises.

In my youth, my mother had the exact same painting hanging in our house as the druggies in this movie (see here).

When Herschel and Anne are seen smoking weed, the director can be heard saying "action."

Directed by Brad F. Grinter and Steve Hawkes • R • 1972 • 80 minutes

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