PAR AVION

Or, That's French For Air Mail

[Originally Aired March 14, 2007]

To be honest, I find Claire a bore. And her relationship with Charlie is the least compelling thing about the show. Let me sum that up for you: Claire likes Charlie. He's kind of a douche. Claire doesn't like Charlie. He's kind of a douche. Claire likes Charlie. He's kind of a douche. Claire doesn't like Charlie. He's still kind of a douche. She throws him out of her tent. She invites him back in. She throws him out of her tent. She invites him back in. Ad infinitum. It's like the relationship between Ross and Rachel on Friends, but this one has sand. So, this is another of Claire's flashback episodes. But I don't care enough to write about it. I'm gonna sum that up too, and here's what we learn: Old Man Shephard, Jack's father, is Claire's estranged father too. (See Two For The Road. Do not see Three For The Road starring Charlie Sheen.) Claire and Jack are half-siblings, but neither of them know it. In the real-time events on the island Claire and Charlie bicker (surprise!) and she throws him out of her tent (surprise!) but eventually lets him move back in (surprise!) This all concerns Desmond's continued psychic visions of Charlie's death and his attempts to intercede and save his life. Dez is a good guy, because personally I'd have let the Hobbit drown. Anyway, Claire hatches a plan to capture a migratory bird and attach a note to it in the hopes said bird will be found by scientists and initiate a rescue. It's a wonderfully written note, but they tie it to the bird's leg and it pretty much looks like it will fall off within three or four minutes. I don't anticipate a rescue any time soon. Meanwhile Sayid, Locke, Kate, Rousseau, and Mikhail are following the electrical conduit through the jungle to the Others' compound. Kate asks Rousseau why she's never asked about Alex. Rousseau confesses it is because the girl would find her a stranger. Mikhail explains how he arrived on the island via submarine, but since the incident with the EMP, the sonar beacon is broken. If the sub were to leave now, it would never be able to return. Does GPS not work here? Nevermind. Mikhail also reveals he knows everyone's full name somehow. Before he can reveal much more they stumble across a row of concrete pylons. Mikhail says it was a security fence for the compound, but it is no longer working. It circles the entire compound, there is no way around it. Sayid confirms this on his map. Then Locke grabs Mikhail and shoves him between the pylons. Mikhail says thanks then froths at the mouth and dies as blood pours from his ears and eyes. Eww. Sayid seems pissed, Locke doesn't give a shit, I guess. Then Sayid fumbles through Locke's backpack and finds a block of C-4. What the hell? They knock down a tree and use it to climb over a pylon. Soon, they are near the barracks. From the bushes they see Jack running. Kate is about to yell for him until Sayid stops her. Jack is running, and then he catches a football. He spikes the ball playfully as Tom cheers him on.