I Write Letters

Dear Dish Network

You don't know me, but I've been a customer of yours for years. I read today that you lost your lawsuit with TiVo. I guess a jury of your peers decided that your DVR is just a ripoff of their DVR. That sucks. Or, hey, maybe great minds think alike, and it's a big coincidence that your respective technologies are identical. Whatever. I don't really care. What I do care about is the news that you may be forced to disable DVR services for all your customers.

And by forced, I mean you don't want to pay the two bucks a month TiVo is asking for in licensing fees.

Look, I've put up with your half-assed customer service for a long time. I pay for a shit load of channels I don't watch. (Disney Channel? No, thanks, I'll skip The Zach and Cody Show they run on a loop.) I pay for countless sports channels, despite having zero interest in sports. (In fact, if you could accuratly measure said interest, it would read as a negative number.) I pay for Showtime even though, no matter how many times they air Crocodile Dundee In Los Angeles, I will never, ever watch that.

You know there are a just handful of shows I watch, and I pay a fairly hefty fee to do so. And I choose to DVR those shows and watch them at my convenience.

I know that spread over seven million customers, the two bucks TiVo wants is gonna add up. I know this is going to put a serious dent in someone's Swiss Chalet habit. I understand that. But you've milked TiVo's golden goose long enough. And just because you fucked up, shouldn't mean I have to suffer.

So, cut back on the lunch outings to Shanghai, and maybe sell off the solid gold fountains in the executive washrooms, and pony up the two dollars to keep me tuned in to Breaking Bad.

Thanks.