Because Joe Arpaio is a ginormous racist douchebag, he's decided to get to the bottom of this whole presidential birth certificate thing once and for all. Whut? Yeah, I know, everyone thought that was settled. Right?
Well, no. Of course not. There could be a video of Obama coming out of the birth canal and being wrapped in an American flag at the base of the Washington Monument and a certain group of people (assholes) still wouldn't believe he's an American. I mean, first off, he's not white, so how could he be? We all knew that Obama releasing his birth certificate (twice) wasn't going to shut them up. No amount of placation will quiet the racist clowns who hate having a black man as their president.
That's why Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has assembled his fabled Cold Case Posse to find out if Obama's birth certificate is fraudulent or not.
No word on how they're going to do that or who is even on the posse. I'm hoping they've hired renowned document expert and historian Benjamin Franklin Gates. That guy can get to the bottom of any conspiracy!
Arpaio assures us "This investigation does not involve politics." That's a relief! "When I get allegations brought to me by the citizens of Maricopa County, I look into the allegations, just like I am doing here." Oh, okay.
The complaint originated from Arizona's Surprise Tea Party, an obviously non-partisan group. Brian Reilly, a spokesman for the group, said he and the other teabaggers are looking forward to cooperating with the sheriff's investigation. Super!
The investigation is not being funded by taxpayers, but by the Cold Case Posse's 501(c)3, a charitable organization.
fuck, I cannot stand that man
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