Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Separation of Church and Taste

Hey, I've got nothing against you Christian types, what with your ancient rites and rituals and piety and stuff. I've fucked dated my share of Christians, including a (former) conventual friar. I like certain aspects of your religion. Thou shalt not kill, for example. That's solid. Some of the stuff I'm not so keen on. Your hatred of money isn't for me. And I am pretty sure i don't want to smell like myrrh.

But, let me tell you, if there is one thing I ain't gonna do is sprinkle my mashed potatoes with Christian salt. An atheist has to maintain his principles, after all.

Which is why I've* created Cthulhu's Atheist Salt:


It's just like regular salt, but without any of that "blessed by an Episcopal priest" nonsense. And I assure you no rabbis came anywhere near this stuff either. It's yummy, it's tasty and it won't burn your tongue simply for being a nonbeliever. Coming soon to a health foods store near you!


* When I say "I've created" what I mean, in fact, is "Liss created," but being an atheist, I'm not bound by that "thou shalt not lie" rule.

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