DAVE

Or, A Glitch In The Matrix

[Originally Aired April 5, 2006]

Hurley and Libby jog on the beach. Hurley has a hard time keeping up. Libby tells him it's okay, he's not going to lose weight instantly. Then he confesses he's "sick," showing her his secret stash of food. I love how he's even built a shelving unit out of tree branches to store it in. Seriously, it's straight out of Gilligan's Island. Hurley tells Libby he hates the food and wishes he could get rid of it. Why doesn't he then? she asks. Hurley smashes all the food and flings ranch dressing like he's in a bukake video. Libby and he cheer as Hurley seems to have made a breakthrough. And then everyone comes running through the jungle heading to the parachute drop. Well, shit, they're back to square one. Everyone squabbles over the food and someone suggests Hurley be put in charge of it again. He freaks out. A man in a bathrobe stands nearby smiling at Hurley. What the hell? Hurley darts after the mystery man. He disappears, leaving behind only his slipper. Flashback and Hurley is at the psychiatric hospital talking to Wyck from Seinfeld. I guess he became a doctor after running the Susan Ross Foundation. Good for him. Wyck asks Hurley about his diet and his mom. Hurley says his not mad at her for checking him in. Hurley hasn't done his homework assignment, creating a list of things he likes about himself. Then Wyck and Hurley bicker about Dave, a friend of Hurley's the doctor considers a bad influence. Later Hurley finds Dave playing basketball with some other patients. He's the guy Hurley saw in the jungle. Dave warns Hurley to not let Wyck get into his head, he also advises against taking his meds. Dave is a bad influence. Locke and Jack discuss "Henry" with Locke defending him for not escaping when he had the chance. Jack suggests he didn't escape because he thought the balloon story would check out. Kate and Jack suggest Locke use a wheelchair they found in the crash. Locke refuses. They offer to bring him some crutches instead. "Henry" is in the arms locker again, but now he is tied to the walls, very dungeony. Sayid and Ana interrogate him, and "Henry" at first balks. He says he found Original Henry dead in the basket. Until Sayid whips out a twenty dollar bill that Original Henry wrote, indicating he didn't die in the basket at all. "Henry" finally gives in saying if he tells them anything that he'll be in trouble with "him." Ana asks if "him" is the Cap'n. Cap'n's just a peon. Cap'n wishes he was "him." Must be why he wears a fake beard. Sayid threatens to shoot "Henry" and "Henry" freaks out saying he can't shoot him because he's a good person. Sayid shoots him anyway. Or tries to. Ana knocks the gun out of the way just in time. Locke freaks out at the sound of the gunshot. Sayid is escorted from the holding cell. Jack tells Locke to shut up, that he's got everything under control. At the hospital Hurley plays connect four with Leonard. Hurley snacks on celery until Dave goads him into stealing some of Leonard's Graham crackers. Then Wyck shows up and asks to take their picture for the bulletin board. Wyck snaps a Polaroid of Hurley with his arm around Dave. In the jungle Eko is sawing down trees. Charlie asks him what he's building, but Eko doesn't say. Sure ain't a boat. Probably a church. Meanwhile Hurley asks Sawyer for some dolls. Sawyer asks why. So Hurley will stop hallucinating. (Didn't Sawyer lose all the meds last week?) Sawyer asks what he's seeing, and Hurley says a bald dude in a bathrobe. "You mean that guy over there?" Hurley turns around "Gotcha!" Hurley pounces on Sawyer and beats the shit out if him. Is Sawyer's new role community punching bag? Later Hurley decides to move back to the caves to live like a crazy, naked hermit. As he walks through the jungle his backpack busts open spilling peanut butter all over the place. Hurley eats the goo off the ground. Until Dave shows up, asking for his slipper back. At the hospital Hurley and Wyck look over his homework, a list of things Hurley likes about himself. Wyck asks why he didn't list anything about his looks. Hurley shrugs and says he can't do anything about it. Wyck says that after the accident, he went catatonic. Except he never stopped eating. Hurley eats to punish himself. Hurley says he killed two people. Wyck tells him the deck was only meant to hold eight people, and there were twenty-three out there, it would have collapsed anyway. Hurley ain't buying it. Then Wyck shows him the picture he took the other day. Hurley is in it. Alone. His arm around no one. WHAT! Dave is a figment of his imagination. Damn, I did not see that coming. Later, Dave wakes Hurley and tries to sneak him out of the hospital. They open a window and Dave climbs out. Hurley tells him he knows Dave isn't real, and closes the window on Dave, locking his imaginary buddy outside. At the hatch, Locke asks "Henry" why he didn't escape when he had the chance. "God knows how long you've been on the island," Locke ponders. "God doesn't know," says "Henry." God can't see the island and no can anyone else, says "Henry." He then confesses he never even entered the numbers, that the clock just reset itself all on it's own. In the jungle, Dave explains to Hurley that he's in a coma. That this is all a dream. The lottery, the crash, the island. And all he has to do to wake up is jump off this cliff. Fuck. To prove his point, I guess, Dave flings himself to the sea and rocks below. As Hurley stares off the cliff, Libby shows up and tells him to come back. Hurley claims she's not real. That this is all a dream. There is no way a woman like her would like a man like him. He says maybe the reason she seemed so familiar to him was because she was all made up in his head. Libby asks him about the guy on the other side of the island with the broken leg who she helped after the crash. He has no idea what she's talking about. Exactly! That's because it happened to her, and not in his head, and so this is all real. Hurley and Libby kiss. Back at the hospital, we see Hurley having his picture taken, arm around no one, but from a different point of view. From the point of view of one of the other patients there: Libby! Damn, I did not see that coming.