On Palin's Hair

Yes, Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin has a lot on her plate: a pregnant teen daughter, a son on his way to Iraq, an infant with Down syndrome and a looming national election.

But must her hair suffer? With her long, straight, often pinned-up locks, Palin looks one humid day away from fronting a Kiss cover band.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"It's about 20 years out of date," said Boston stylist Mario Russo of the Alaska governor's 'do. "Which goes to show how off she might be on current events."

Nice. Her shabby looks are an obvious reflection of her limited intellect. WTF? Seriously, do we really need to do this?

We know the former Miss Alaska runner-up’s stance on on stem cells and teaching creationism in schools, but what's her position on scrunchies vs. banana clips?

Yes, what is her position on scrunchies? There's a question for the ages. I'm sure the Pulitzer committee is already eyeing this piece.

Someone wake me when the election is over.