On Pink Triangles and Other Symbols

Putting fake balls on your car means you're totally gay. At least according to one local resident here in town:

I followed a truck … the other day that had those very realistic testicles hanging from the trailer hitch in the back. And I just want to say that I'm really open-minded about gay rights, … but isn’t there a less tacky way you can announce your preference for male genitalia than that?

I am familiar with plenty of symbols of gay pride: The rainbow flag, the pink triangle, the lambda, even that little black and blue flag for queers who like to play spanky spanky. But fake plastic balls? This is a new one to me.

I also suspect it's a new one to all those über-macho, tough guy types who actually adorn their vehicles with them. At least that's who I assume buys these things. I've no real evidence of this, just call it a hunch; like gaydar, but different.

So, fellas, while you're running around town hauling sheetrock and listening to Linkin Park with your fake plastic balls dangling from your S-10, you kind of look like a homo.

Personally, I don't care who thinks I'm homo. The first thing I did when I bought my new car was slap an equality sticker on the bumper. What I won't do is attach a pair of phony testicles to it. I'm a fan of male genitalia, mind you, but I, like the caller, find the plastic version "tacky." That doesn't mean I want to make these things illegal, I am just trying to figure out how these get confused with a rainbow flag.

Maybe it's like mudflaps or a mural on the side of your van. I guess "Hey, he really likes naked women!" equates to "Wow, that guy loves him some balls!" Well, okay.