Monday, March 31, 2008

More Endorsement News

On the tail of James Wilkie Broderick's announcement comes word from noted feminist 50 Cent that he is no longer endorsing Clinton:

"I heard Obama speak," he said. "He hit me with that he-just-got-done-watching-'Malcolm X,' and I swear to God, I'm like, 'Yo, Obama!'

"I'm Obama to the end now, baby!"
Umm, yeah, okay.

I've nothing to add to this.

(H/T to Lena, who no longer has a blog.)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Lady In Red

Just say no. Or yes. Or something. Nancy Reagan announced her intention to announce her intention to endorse John McCain. (And what is it with people sending out press releases telling us they're going to send out a press release? Enough already, just make the fucking announcement!)

When asked why she was throwing her support behind Old Man Surge, the former First Lady opined, "You know, he is the default nominee, and there is a certain excitement that brings to the race."

She later added "It's been quite a long time since this country has had a real douchebag in office, and John McCain is someone that fits that bill perfectly."

Nancy Reagan is also looking forward to McCain's plan to bomb Iran next January. "Just say yes to 100 years of war."

I'm Not Laughing

Not FunnyHillary, you owe me an apology. You may have misspoke, you may have misremembered. You may have confused your trip to Bosnia with a rerun of M*A*S*H. Whatever. I don't really care. But you owe me an apology. You owe us all an apology.

No, not for saying something disingenuous. You're a politician, we're used to that. You've done something far worse:

You've brought Sinbad back into the public eye.

I had forgotten all about Sinbad. I had forgotten all about his crappy sitcoms, and crappy movies, and crappy HBO specials. And now what? His face is all over the news. Anderson Cooper is talking about Sinbad.

Let me make this plain: I should never have to look up and see Sinbad's picture on CNN. Certainly not during dinner.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Head Like A Hole

Invading Iraq was worth it, according to President Mondo Fucko. No real surprise there, is it? No, not really. From day one he's told us he doesn't lose sleep over the chaos he's unleashed on the region. Wevs.

But here's the thing that gets me (from his upcoming speech at the Pentagon):

Out of such chaos in Iraq, the terrorist movement could emerge emboldened with new recruits ... new resources ... and an even greater determination to dominate the region and harm America. An emboldened al-Qaida with access to Iraq's oil resources could pursue its ambitions to acquire weapons of mass destruction to attack America and other free nations.
So, we invaded because Iraq was rife with weapons of mass destruction. And now, we can't leave because if we do, the place will be again teeming with weapons of mass destruction. Like the place is some magical vortex of WMDs, and only as long as the U.S. military continues its never-ending game of whack-a-mole will we be safe.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Today In China

"People standing on the roof of the Beijing Olympic stadium can barely be seen through the smog. China has issued assurances that the air will be safe for the Games."

Yeah, that's reassuring. It's not like China has a history of recklessly disregarding the health, safety and welfare of people just about everywhere.

(H/T to Lena, former olympic biathlete.)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Miserable Lie

Britain's Home Office may want you to believe that homosexuals "[aren't] routinely persecuted purely on the basis of their sexuality" in Iran, but we know better:

Homosexuals deserve to be executed or tortured and possibly both, an Iranian leader told British MPs during a private meeting at a peace conference.
To pretend that sending Mehdi Kazemi back to Iran is anything other than a death sentence is complete and utter horseshit.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Wanton Slobberchopsity

Being gay is bad. Worse than being a terrorist. Worse than being Islamic. So says Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern, she of the state's Social Services committee, she of the state's Human Services Committee. According to The Advocate:

Kern criticized gay people for indoctrinating children, lamented the growing number of gay politicians, and said gays will "destroy this nation." The gay community, she says, poses a "bigger threat, even more so than terrorists or Islam," to the United States.
(I loved how she managed to insult Islam and Homosexuality in one fell swoop. Extra classy, that.)

Audio of her speech has surfaced here.

Kern defends herself, "What I'm saying, I believe in." No one doubts that. No one doubts you do believe in hateful, destructive, outdated horseshit. But just because you believe in it, doesn't make it any better. Being a bigot isn't somehow okay if you're really earnest about it.

(H/T to Lena, who is not a Muslim.)

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Before You Go Go

Two whole nights of Eighties music and no one sang "Ghostbusters"? Wev. So, who's going home tonight? Well, if it were up to me they'd all go for not busting out Ray Parker Jr.'s masterpiece. Sadly, it's not my decision, so you'll just have to deal with it when America's teenage girls decide these four aren't up to snuff.

Luke Menard

Listen, I like Luke, but before he became a contestant on AI, he was in an a cappella group and the universe will have to punish him for that. His rendition of "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" was brutal. That song sucked in 1984 and it sucks now. He should be voted off for that alone. Luke can sing, he's a good looking gent, and even seems a nice enough fellow. What he doesn't have is stage presence. Too bad.

Amanda Overmyer

She can't win. And she can't really sing, which is part of the reason why. Plus she's kind of scary looking. Oh, sure, she can belt out a blues-rocky Janis Joplin pastiche, but that's only gonna get her so far. To right about here. If she goes home now, we won't have to suffer through her inevitable attempt at balladry. Hey, she can still spend her Saturday nights singing in a bar somewhere in Indiana. It would suit her just fine. Maybe Melissa will catch one of her shows and report back.

David Hernandez

David was a one-time go-go boy, which would normally mean he'd get my vote. Not this time. I can't even remember what he sang on Tuesday. (I looked it up, and still can't recall it.) That's a problem. He's largely forgettable, and he knows it. Bye-bye, David, it's back to lap dancing for you.

Kady Malloy

Kady, Kady, Kady… *sigh* You don't want to hear this, but you're not as good a singer as you think you are. You're not as good a singer as anyone thinks you are. You're cute and all, but your performances are, as Simon put it, robotic. You are completely charmless behind the mic. Not a good quality in a performer. Oh, well, it was a nice run, wasn't it?

Until next week, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars…

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

You, The Night And The Music

I always get a little worried when an established artist ends up without a label and decides to distribute new material on their own. What usually follows are a couple of albums of masturbatory pap, a small-venue tour, and a fade into the "where are they now?" club.

When I read that Trent Reznor was self-releasing a triple album of instrumentals, I feared the worst. That's three strikes right there, an automatic fail, a go-directly-to-jail-do-not-pass-go-do-not-collect-$200 idea if I ever heard one. So, with some trepidation I gave Ghosts a spin.

And then I remembered Reznor's previous instrumental explorations like the Quake soundtrack, and Still, his "unplugged" release, and the tracks that peppered The Fragile. Reznor actually knows what he's doing when it comes to creating dark, moody, even subtle pieces. There are moments reminiscent of My Life in the Bush of Ghosts, songs awash in Enoesque soundscapes and Laswellian grooves. Reznor no doubt owes a serious debt of gratitude to Eno, and probably wouldn't shy away from the comparison. Unfortunately there is the occasional foray into low-fi guitar noodling that summons the ghost of Steve Albini. No one needs that.

Obviously there are no alt-rock anthems here, and an album like this won't put Reznor back in the spotlight. I am pretty sure he doesn't care either. He seems content to sit in his home studio creating music for his own enjoyment as much as anyone's. That's okay with me, because truthfully, I liked this better than Year Zero.

The first nine tracks are available as a free download here.