Thursday, March 06, 2008

Before You Go Go

Two whole nights of Eighties music and no one sang "Ghostbusters"? Wev. So, who's going home tonight? Well, if it were up to me they'd all go for not busting out Ray Parker Jr.'s masterpiece. Sadly, it's not my decision, so you'll just have to deal with it when America's teenage girls decide these four aren't up to snuff.

Luke Menard

Listen, I like Luke, but before he became a contestant on AI, he was in an a cappella group and the universe will have to punish him for that. His rendition of "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" was brutal. That song sucked in 1984 and it sucks now. He should be voted off for that alone. Luke can sing, he's a good looking gent, and even seems a nice enough fellow. What he doesn't have is stage presence. Too bad.

Amanda Overmyer

She can't win. And she can't really sing, which is part of the reason why. Plus she's kind of scary looking. Oh, sure, she can belt out a blues-rocky Janis Joplin pastiche, but that's only gonna get her so far. To right about here. If she goes home now, we won't have to suffer through her inevitable attempt at balladry. Hey, she can still spend her Saturday nights singing in a bar somewhere in Indiana. It would suit her just fine. Maybe Melissa will catch one of her shows and report back.

David Hernandez

David was a one-time go-go boy, which would normally mean he'd get my vote. Not this time. I can't even remember what he sang on Tuesday. (I looked it up, and still can't recall it.) That's a problem. He's largely forgettable, and he knows it. Bye-bye, David, it's back to lap dancing for you.

Kady Malloy

Kady, Kady, Kady… *sigh* You don't want to hear this, but you're not as good a singer as you think you are. You're not as good a singer as anyone thinks you are. You're cute and all, but your performances are, as Simon put it, robotic. You are completely charmless behind the mic. Not a good quality in a performer. Oh, well, it was a nice run, wasn't it?

Until next week, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars…

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