Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Miracle Worker

Rejoice, faggots! Huckabee can cure teh gay right out of ya. Or so says one of the posters over at Huck’s Army, a website devoted to "Faith, Family, and Freedom" that reads like a healthy serving of Soggy Biscuit à la Huckabee.

Not only can Huck cure you of your sodomite ways, but he works fast too. If I understand the story correctly, when the author's "friend" (*wink wink*) spoke to Huckabee about his sexuality, the presidential hopeful "quoted a few scriptures" and, voilà, the poor little homo was healed.

"Praise the Lord! Another soul going to heaven," responds a poster on the website. Is that all there is to it then? It just comes down to not sucking dick? I thought there was more to getting into heaven than that. Maybe standards are low at the pearly gates.

And you know, Huck's fix is way quicker than Ted Haggard's "restoration." It's odd too, since I am pretty sure Haggard has picked up a bible once or twice. (You kind of have to do that to properly thump it.) I bet he's kicking himself right now. Like Dorothy and her ruby slippers, he had the way home all along. Oh, well, the next time he gets caught with the meat in his mouth maybe he can save himself a few weeks.

I guess we're just lucky the author's "friend" (*wink wink*) didn't have AIDS. I suspect Huck wouldn't have been so kind.

H/T to Lizard.

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